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I am grieving. I am angry.
Sep. 29th, 2007 05:21 pmMost of you already know -- and have posted regarding -- the death of Teresa (LJ: maestrateresa). Well, here's my post.
Teresa had to be the strongest person I'd ever met. Let me tell you about her life, because only then can you understand just how amazing she was.
Teresa lost her dad when she was young. When Teresa was 17 or so, she came down with leukemia or hodgkins or something like that. She and her family were told she was going to die. But then she got into an experimental program, where they used high dosages of either chemo or radiation (I could never remember which). This study was very valuable in that it both saved Teresa and helped doctors understand how much of the treatment was needed. But medicine has since learn that you don't need as much of chemo or radiation or whatever to be effective.
On the plus side, Teresa went on and was able to live her life. She went to college, got married, and had two amazing kids who she brought into adulthood. She had a career as a physical thereapist.
On the very minus side, when Teresa hit a certain age (I'm guessing it was around 30) her body started to try and die on her. She had major heart problems, and at one point had a valve put in. She became diabetic. She suffered breast cancer and had a radical masectomy. Eventually she could not work anymore and had to go on disability.
But when Teresa became too sick to take care of her husband (who had been unemployed for a while), the scumbag husband dumped her for another woman. Yes, I know, there is a lot more to that section of the story, but that is the essence of what happened. Teresa and her now teenaged kids were left with nothing of their own. Her friends were able to put her up, and eventually enabled her to get a place of her own.
Throughout her whole *life* of trials and tribulations she aways had the most amazing and inspirational fighting attitude. Teresa never gave up. She was the Queen of Suck Up And Deal, and that will be one of the greatest lessons I have learned from her.
So Teresa, being Teresa, determined to re-invent herself. She went back to college and got a second degree, a BS in psych. Then she went on to grad school in a human factors in tech-sort of program. All the time she had to deal with more health-fu. She had her lunges keep filling up with fluid, and last year had to deal with lungs filling with blood. Let me stop here and point out that last year, while she was in Intensive Care, she did most of the work on a school project. Despite all the time she spent in intensive care and the hospital she still pulled straight As. If life was fair there should have been a f'n ticker-tape parade for her for that accomplishment.
More health fu occured. This summer, *just* before she was to leave for New York for an internship with IBM, she learned that she had breast cancer again. But since a month or so delay wasn't going to make a big difference she went to NY. She triumphed there -- they liked her so much they continued her internship when she got home. She got to play at living in NY. She told me that the time in NY put her at peace, because she knew that now she would overcome. She was on the home stretch and she was winning.
She came home and within a week had her surgury. Had to go back in a week later for the drain, but that did not seem like a big deal. She now seemed to be over her health fu and was feeling better. She had one class this semester and it was proving to be easy. She was employed and for the first time since forever she had disposable income. She booked a trip over Xmas with her kids to celebrate.
I went to dinner with Teresa Wednesday night. Much of our conversation was her telling me how happy she was. How she was getting validated in her work, that she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. That, really she was *shocked* to realize that she was now relaxed and happy. We giggled and strategized our Disneyland trip. Silly hats played a large part.
But Teresa died in her sleep sometime Thursday night/Friday morning. I am unspeakably angry at the Universe that Teresa did not get to enjoy the fruits of her hard work, of her perserverance, her strength. I take only the tiniest bit of solace that she died *after* she know she had won.
The only thing that I can think to do now is to somehow help the last fight that she was facing. Her children's paternal grandfather had died 2 years ago and left the kids a very sizable percentage of his estate. But Teresa's erstwhile bother-in-law has sat on these assets for 2 years now and there was no porgress towards Ariel and Morgan getting what is rightfully thiers. I know that she was about to engage a lawyer, because reasoning had failed. Now those kids (well, young adults, really) *really* need that money. So if its not already being taken care of I want to start a fund for a Truely Ruthless Lawyer to fight on Teresa's behalf. Like I said, I am Angry and I want to make sure that the one thing I know Teresa would like to have resolved is resolved.
My heart goes out to Teresa's mom and Ariel and Morgan, and Teresa's best friend Bronwyn, and her cats, Honor and Max, and her dogs, Bubbles and Shadow. I can only think that their fates will be resolved in the coming weeks. I'll be in touch.
Teresa has lead the way. No whining at what life throws at you. Muddle through, never give up, keep smiling.
Teresa had to be the strongest person I'd ever met. Let me tell you about her life, because only then can you understand just how amazing she was.
Teresa lost her dad when she was young. When Teresa was 17 or so, she came down with leukemia or hodgkins or something like that. She and her family were told she was going to die. But then she got into an experimental program, where they used high dosages of either chemo or radiation (I could never remember which). This study was very valuable in that it both saved Teresa and helped doctors understand how much of the treatment was needed. But medicine has since learn that you don't need as much of chemo or radiation or whatever to be effective.
On the plus side, Teresa went on and was able to live her life. She went to college, got married, and had two amazing kids who she brought into adulthood. She had a career as a physical thereapist.
On the very minus side, when Teresa hit a certain age (I'm guessing it was around 30) her body started to try and die on her. She had major heart problems, and at one point had a valve put in. She became diabetic. She suffered breast cancer and had a radical masectomy. Eventually she could not work anymore and had to go on disability.
But when Teresa became too sick to take care of her husband (who had been unemployed for a while), the scumbag husband dumped her for another woman. Yes, I know, there is a lot more to that section of the story, but that is the essence of what happened. Teresa and her now teenaged kids were left with nothing of their own. Her friends were able to put her up, and eventually enabled her to get a place of her own.
Throughout her whole *life* of trials and tribulations she aways had the most amazing and inspirational fighting attitude. Teresa never gave up. She was the Queen of Suck Up And Deal, and that will be one of the greatest lessons I have learned from her.
So Teresa, being Teresa, determined to re-invent herself. She went back to college and got a second degree, a BS in psych. Then she went on to grad school in a human factors in tech-sort of program. All the time she had to deal with more health-fu. She had her lunges keep filling up with fluid, and last year had to deal with lungs filling with blood. Let me stop here and point out that last year, while she was in Intensive Care, she did most of the work on a school project. Despite all the time she spent in intensive care and the hospital she still pulled straight As. If life was fair there should have been a f'n ticker-tape parade for her for that accomplishment.
More health fu occured. This summer, *just* before she was to leave for New York for an internship with IBM, she learned that she had breast cancer again. But since a month or so delay wasn't going to make a big difference she went to NY. She triumphed there -- they liked her so much they continued her internship when she got home. She got to play at living in NY. She told me that the time in NY put her at peace, because she knew that now she would overcome. She was on the home stretch and she was winning.
She came home and within a week had her surgury. Had to go back in a week later for the drain, but that did not seem like a big deal. She now seemed to be over her health fu and was feeling better. She had one class this semester and it was proving to be easy. She was employed and for the first time since forever she had disposable income. She booked a trip over Xmas with her kids to celebrate.
I went to dinner with Teresa Wednesday night. Much of our conversation was her telling me how happy she was. How she was getting validated in her work, that she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. That, really she was *shocked* to realize that she was now relaxed and happy. We giggled and strategized our Disneyland trip. Silly hats played a large part.
But Teresa died in her sleep sometime Thursday night/Friday morning. I am unspeakably angry at the Universe that Teresa did not get to enjoy the fruits of her hard work, of her perserverance, her strength. I take only the tiniest bit of solace that she died *after* she know she had won.
The only thing that I can think to do now is to somehow help the last fight that she was facing. Her children's paternal grandfather had died 2 years ago and left the kids a very sizable percentage of his estate. But Teresa's erstwhile bother-in-law has sat on these assets for 2 years now and there was no porgress towards Ariel and Morgan getting what is rightfully thiers. I know that she was about to engage a lawyer, because reasoning had failed. Now those kids (well, young adults, really) *really* need that money. So if its not already being taken care of I want to start a fund for a Truely Ruthless Lawyer to fight on Teresa's behalf. Like I said, I am Angry and I want to make sure that the one thing I know Teresa would like to have resolved is resolved.
My heart goes out to Teresa's mom and Ariel and Morgan, and Teresa's best friend Bronwyn, and her cats, Honor and Max, and her dogs, Bubbles and Shadow. I can only think that their fates will be resolved in the coming weeks. I'll be in touch.
Teresa has lead the way. No whining at what life throws at you. Muddle through, never give up, keep smiling.
