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 Between all the crap happening in our country, cancer (even though it's getting better for Jeff), and our isolation, I have reached the Pissed and Crabby state of being. Trying to not take it out on Jeff or anyone I talked to. 
 
All about me:
 
 - Listened to a talk today from Meridith Towne, author of Making Late Medieval Menswear (2024). The talk was sponsored by Medieval Dress and Textile Society (MEDATS), which I joined today for ~$20. The book is very much like the Medieval Tailor's assistant, but with more focus and more context (social, dyes, etc.) I just wrote a bunch about this over on the WK clothier guild Discord, so I'm not up to typing it all again.
 
 - Very slowly, Jeff is getting better. He's able to walk more without crashing, and can stand and do dishes now (huge improvement). The latest thing is getting injections that will allow his spine and pelvic bones to heal faster. 
 
- The last couple of weeks I've had some welcome phone calls with people. I've gotten to talk to Rachael, Cathie, and Donna. Plus Jed and their son Ivan came over to help move the drawers we got from Habitat for Humanity into my office, so we got to spend some time with them. This coming Saturday there's a good chance they'll come back to do a dump run for us, so more human contact is on the horizon!
 
- I've been working on re-organizing the office and organizing sewing/crafting stuff with the new bookshelves and the drawers. I've emptied a bunch of tubs and need to fill those back up with stuff we can take to our one storage facility. I'm also doing a lot of purging. But things are still in the chaotic stage.
 
 - I finished the Folkwear Gipson Girl blouse. But the current state of the office means that until everything gets organized I won't have the ability to cut out fabric for another garment project. So I've turned back to crocheting the Wooble kits that I bought last year but did not get to. Can't say it enough: sewing/crafting is an essential part of my mental health. 
 
 - The Mazda is in the shop. It died on the road to Grass Valley Friday when Jeff was trying to take the pups to get their nails trimmed. It is probably going to take bucketloads of money to fix it--probably the transmission. Once that gets confirmed, the plan is to tow it back to the house and let it sit until we pay off some medical bill and can handle it. It will probably be a long time, but no one will care given where we live. Luckily, the van is working, although it needs all new tires and has 2 bent wheels. That needs to wait a bit too, although I do want to get new tires as soon as we can because that could be dangerous. 
 
 - As I said, I'm crabby. All the freaking medical appointments -- grr. Now I need to get a eye exam because now I'm having trouble seeing the computer screen. But I need vision to get paid, so I've got to buckle down and do it. I have vision coverage, but as it was explained to me it's more of a discount program.
 
- Oh, and since I'm whining, in June I need to spend $1,000 on dental work (a crown replacement and 2 cavities that need fixing. Grr.
 
 - I need to keep remining myself to remember the positive. Jeff is getting better. The pups and Bean are doing OK. Spring is a nice time of year and the property is a beautiful green now. I'm employed (but scared of losing that job because of fascist cutbacks.)  
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 - Jeff has definitely turned a corner. We won't know until next week what the cancer situation is, but he is gradually able to be more active. Yesterday we where able to get (finally) to the Habitat for Humanity store and pick up some bookshelves and drawers for the office. And then we ate at the local Mexican food place - WooHoo! Of course, Jeff crashed hard when we got home and has been super tired today, but he was able to make his own dinner and we got the bookshelf into the office (the drawers will need to stay in the van until we can get some help). 

- More Jeff stuff, but silly: I got a message this week from Karina, with a PDF of an SCA/An Tir Cosmopolitan-spoof  newsletter from 1987. There's a line drawing centerfold in the style of Bert Renolds, if you catch my meaning. Karina had been told it was Steingrim. That sounded entirely possible, so over the next 24 hours I had a very confusing back and forth with a muzzy-brained Jeff about whether it was him or not. When I finally showed him the line drawing (which I thought was plausibly him, face and hair looked off) he said that it was Torgul, not him. This makes sense, because Jeff tells me that back in the day they looked very alike and could be mistaken for brothers. Also, Jeff tells me that a friend of his (initials B.B) did that drawing from her imagination. I do think it remarkable--I would remark on it--that this whole thing seems so unsurprising, given how we were back in the 80s.

- Me and my blood pressure: TLDR: After 3 trips to the doctors, by BP was fine. Yay? 
Details (see also my previous post): On Tuesday I had a check up and was told that my BP was still too high considering my meds. So on Wednesday I took 2x as much of one of my BP meds, as instructed. This made me feel weird enough that I went back to the dr. office, but was feeling better when I left. I went back to my old med regime. I went back for a re-check on Friday and, surprise, by BP was normal, both times they took it. So I'm continuing with what I'm doing and will come back in a month. No idea why after all this time my BP started to show up as normal. We'll see if this continues. We have a BP monitor at home, but now I'm wondering about its accuracy. 

- I really missed going to WK Crown this weekend. Missed Greg's Pelican, and some other well deserved peerages. And there was so much A&S and other fun stuff planned. So much FOMO angst. 

- We need to get some help taking a ton of stuff to the dump. I asked on FB before, but dropped it because of all the rain. No rain in the forecast for  the foreseeable future, though. We have to get this done asap, particularly before the temps rise. Plus now we need help getting the drawers out of the van and into the office - it's too heavy IMO for Jeff and I given his condition. 

- 2 new to us streaming shows that we're enjoying: Ludwig on Amazon Britbox. Only 2 episodes so far. Premise it that there's these 3 men who are identical twins. One is a DCI who goes missing. The other is a recluse puzzle creator and solver, who has to impersonate his brother and winds up solving crimes. British (sorta cringy) humor and fun to solve murders. 
The other is another British show, Murder They Hope. This is a absurdist comedy murder mystery show with 2 very not too bright private detectives/ex-tour guides. Not going to lie, it's pretty cringe humor, but it's also hilarious if its your cup of tea. 
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Preamble: As I've said numerous times, I'm working on lowering my blood pressure. Yesterday/Tuesday I had a scheduled appointment with a (yet another) nurse practitioner.  My BP was not terrible, but still too high given the medication I'm taking. So I went away with a prescription to take double the amount of one of my BP med. 
When I woke up and had my coffee this morning, by BP was 143/83. I took double the BP meds, as instructed. About 2 hours later I was feeling really lightheaded and generally worry-inly weird--weird enough to call my doctor's office. The asked me to come i. When I go there my BP had dropped to 120/60, which, IMHO, was a hell of a drop. I was super light headed.

During my appointment I had an EKG and a balance test, which took me 2 tries to get through. 
I came away with a decrease in my BP meds and anti-dizzy meds. I'm supposed to take the latter 2x day, but they say it makes you drowsy. I pushed back and said I have to work so I can't be dizzy. The tech suggested that I take it before bed. So that's what I'm going to do--take one tonight and not take the second. Plus I'm skeptical. When I was in the hospital in October they tested my for vertigo and it came back negative. 

I have to be re-checked Friday. I don't think decreasing my BP meds from what I was taking before is the right direction. I'd be willing to try a 1.5 of the med instead of the 2x prescription and I'll suggest that on Friday if things aren't better. We will see. 

Good thing work wasn't super busy today. And Jeff (who drove me there since I felt so bad) and I went out for brunch at IHOP after picking up my new meds. Jeff was feeling up to it, so big yay!. 

And when I got home, my BP was the same as it was in the morning. Go figure. 

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 The wind is crazy today. For whatever reason, wind noise is super loud in our bedroom. Here's hoping it dies down by bedtime. Tomorrow is going to be a busy work day so I need a good night's sleep. 

The state of me:

- Monday I had a pre-cancerous blemish frozen off. It is acting predictably but nastily. Ow.

- Tuesday I have a check-up to check on my blood pressure / meds. The last time I saw a doctor was when I checked in for that stroke check. My last scheduled blood pressure appointment was the day I had to call 911 for Jeff, so that didn't happen. I'm supposed to be keeping records of my BP, but between work and helping Jeff and home chores, that has not happened. I'm hoping I can get back on track. 

- Speaking of Jeff, "getting better" continues very very slowly. I considered trying to go to March Crown and talked to Jeff about it, but Jeff doesn't think he's up to it yet and I have to agree. 
Jeff's income has not been enough for him to file taxes these last few years. Jeff's brain really isn't in a place to deal with taxes right now. I'm doing some research into local tax people to help him, but from what I'm reading he shouldn't have to file this year, either. Hope that's true.
More whining: the bills keep coming in for all of Jeff's treatment. I'm not going to take his agency away from him by opening his bills, but it is tough for him to open those bills and deal with them given him sleeping and feeling so crappy. It gets put off day after day. I told him tomorrow has to be the day he opens the unopened bills, and I can be supportive after work. Of course, in the back of my mind is the old adage "you can't get blood out of a turnip". Medical bankruptcy is, of course, and option, but he's not there yet IMHO. 
On the plus side, Jeff has finished both radiation and chemo now, and in the last week of March he'll get tested  and meet with his oncologist. Crossing all our fingers and toes that he'll get some sort of "cancer dealt with we'll just need to keep monitoring"-sort of diagnosis. He's not clear on whether the hormone treatments need to continue forever. A small plus is  he can start decreasing the steroid a little bit now. 

- Closing in on finishing my Gibson Girl blouse. I made it out of some dimity fabric from by stash and it's pretty sheer, so if I want to wear it in public I need to wear something under it. Still need to hand-finish the armhole seams and sew on the hook and eye closures and it will be done. Looking forward to being able to check this off my 2025 sewing to-do list. 

- The isolation caused by our reality is starting to get to me. This situation is compounded by that fact that neither Jeff nor I can drive after dark now, so meeting up with people after work is a no-go. I've got to figure something out. :-P 

- Nothing new on what' we're watching (The Pitt, Harley Quinn, Daredevil, Father Brown, and Murder in Paradise. ) Looking forward to Andor Season 2 and the Thunderbolts movie. I'd go out to see the new Looney Tunes movie, but it's not playing anywhere near us. Guess I'll have to wait to until it starts streaming. 

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 This afternoon Jeff had on if his retinal shot appointments. Since the dilate his eyes I always need to be the designated driver. We get there, Jeff goes in, and learns that the copay went from $38  to $400. Yes, you read that right. Jeff told them he could not afford that (remember, these are ongoing treatments, about every 6 to 8 weeks). He went ahead, got his eyes dilated and had the doctor do an exam. The verdict was that he probably could use the shot this time, but that it wasn't too bad so waiting wasn't a huge problem. 

The doctor's office is looking into a financial aid program.* Another option they mentioned is a less expensive drug to shoot into Jeff's eyes. We will see.

*I turns out that the office was tapping into a government financial aid program to keep that copay to the original $38. But now--surprise suprise--that funding has no more money. 

We are going to have to figure this out. He needs these retinal shots so as not to lose his sight. Right now, we're crossing our fingers that we can still afford Jeff's upcoming cataract surgery. That is a top priority. :-/

Yes, I'm pissed. I hate the US Health Care Non-system almost as much as I hate PG&Evil.
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It had been years since I'd checked to see if a food delivery service would come out to our place. So tonight, feeling to tired to get to a store, I looked again. Doordash was a big no, but Uber Eats had a few options, including Panda Express. So decided to go for it, even if it felt like more than a test than anything else. And it worked! They came sooner than they'd said, even, and the food was still warm. I realize that Panda Express may not sound like a big treat to you, but to us it felt like a big treat. :-)

In other news, I completed what I set out to do last weekend. I finished putting together the 2 bookcases and installed the bidet. This weekend Jeff had enough energy to secure the bookcases to the wall so I was able to start filling them with books and some other stuff. We still need to get more storage/shelving for the office, but we need to wait a bit for $ reasons. I think our best bet going forward is Habitat for Humanity stores since the %^&%*^% tariffs are going to make DYI kits produced in China too expensive.

Bidet review and musings: I purchased from Tushy, and got the Wave model (non-electric w/front option in addition to the usual back). There was plenty of video and written info that made installation pretty straightforward. After of week of living with it I needed to re-position the seat further forward. And I had to do quite a bit of water pressure experimentation. I'm pretty happy with it, but I suspect this was a "you get what you pay for" experience. But I don't have anything to compare it to. Still, I like having it more than not having it. 

Jeff is starting to feel a bit better. He able to be awake more, but gets exhausted easily. One big deal is the steroid he's been taking has bloated him up to the point now that he can't get shoes on. I'm encouraging him to call his oncologist and asking if he can get off of it. In theory, he's done with chemo, with another few weeks of radiation. At the end of this months he'll have some blood work to determine next steps. We're really hoping that we'll go into "keep things monitored" mode and that he can start the healing/losing weight/gaining strength process. 

Not too much else going on. I'm slowly working on my Gibson Girl blouse and hand-finishing the seams. I had a biopsy of a "liver spot" on my chest and it came back as possibly pre-cancerous, so I'm having it frozen off on Tuesday. I had the same thing done a year ago my face, so I know the drill. 

Media-wise, we're enjoying the new Daredevil series. I was reminded of the old MASH series, so I started binging some episodes on Hulu while taking a break from my DYI projects. That series has aged pretty well, IMHO. Of course, things fall down in the female character side of things, but over the seasons Houlihan got better. And was it intentional that Miss Piggy is so much like her?

And I can't sign off before my annual I Hate Daylight Savings bitch. Tomorrow/Monday morning is going to suck. 
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 This weekend is all about assembling 2 bookshelves and installing the bidet. Wish me luck.

Jeff spent most of the week in bed. We confirmed that he does not have any more chemo scheduled, so here's hoping it stays that way. Tomight Jeff seemed to be feeling better than he has been so here's hoping that trend continues. But poor guy, like I said, he's bloated and is having trouble getting shoes on. His legs are feeling weak, but he thinks that he can start to start walking and building up strength. 

I have been wondering about March Crown. It's at Tres Pinos, so we know the site well, and it's not for 3 weeks. Realistically we probably can't stress Jeff out that much yet. But since we can't go to Beltane (it's at the sheep ranch, a no dogs allowed site), and the next Cynaguan even is in NV, it would be nice to see people before June.. Then again, I also wonder how people would react to how Jeff is looking these days (and how that might make Jeff feel :-/ ). 

I'm trying to move away from Facebook. I've hardly posted anything other than asking for some help for a dump trip. I'm hoping the SCA conversations move off, since that community is a big reason I can't give it up. But I don't want to support the FB/Meta leadership support to the oligarchy. 

Not much else is going on. Jeff and I are enjoying Thursday TV Night together. We're hooked on The Pitt (Max) and the Harley Quinn animated series (also on Max). I'm still watching the US version of Ghosts. And I'm looking forward to Daredevil Born Again which starts soon and Andor Season 2. When you are as isolated as we are streaming is a big part of our joy. 

I'm slowly making progress on my Gibson Girl blouse, but probably won't get to do much with that this weekend. I am enjoying the faster satisfaction of sewing projects, as compared to sewing SCA  or other historical clothing. 

Anyway, hope everyone has as good as a weekend possible. 
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 ...but you all know that. :-)

Many, Many thanks to Zil and all for buying us another cord of oak wood. This will definitely get us through as much as some of next year!

In other news (warning, boring stuff):

 - I had a biopsy of a spot on my neckline area, just in case on Monday. I should be hearing back soon, but I'm not too worried. 

 - Jeff continues to sleep most of the time. We thought he was done with chemo, but he's marked another session in March. I've asked Jeff to call and verify whether this is really happening or is a product of his very fuzzy brain. Speaking of his fuzzy brain, I had helped him fill out the papers with the hospital for financial aid (I filled it all out, actually). The process required submitting 3 months of statement of any financial accounts. I had his checking, and there was this other account that I thought was his (not big) stock accounts. I repeatedly asked if that was all there was, and he said yes, that there was another one but that got rolled into the one I had statements for. I asked repeatedly. The forms were submitted. But Jeff was feeling better Friday and we started talking about all the medical bills. Then Jeff refers to another account. All I can think is that chemo-brain is the reason why he didn't tell my about this. Now we have to go back to the hospital with the statements and say, Whoops! So sorry! Left this out.
:-(  I'm very frustrated by this.

 - I have been spending money on infrastructure. I'm sure much of this is retail therapy in response to all the things going on in our country. I finally bought bookshelves for the office. These have been a big part of my reorganization plan since late last year. I'd hoped we could go to Habitat for Humanity for the shelves, but the way Jeff has been feeling we wouldn't be able to get there until he's feeling up to it and that won't be for a few months. I just couldn't stand having all the stuff in bins stacked up so I caved and ordered online. More shelves will need to be purchased, but these will be a good start. 

 - More infrastructure spending: I spent much of Saturday doing a deep clean of the master bathroom. I noticed that the toilet seat is in pretty bad shape and needs replacing. That made me think of an ad I'd heard several times on on of Kevin Smith's podcasts/YouTube shows, FatMan Beyond (with Marc Bernardin). This ad was for Tushy, a bidet. I'd been wanting one of those since the pandemic. You can check it out; they are pretty reasonably priced and easy to install so I ordered one. 

 - Saw the new Captain America movie last Sunday. It was nice to get out of the house (Jeff did well!) We enjoyed the movie well enough. 

 - Another thing mentioned in the latest FatMan Beyond show was the series The Food that Built America. I checked it out (Season 5 is on Disney+ / Hulu. It sucked me in! Who knew a that a show could make the invention and growth of cake mix sound like a true crime procedural?

 - I got the Meridith Town, "Making Late Medieval Menswear" book (paperback; 2024, ISBN 978-0-7198-4299-3). I haven't reading it yet, but it looks like the Medieval Tailor's Assistant but with more background/history information on the English textile trade.

 - My next sewing project won't be pants, but the Folkwear Gibson Girl Blouse. I've traced out the pattern on some Swedish tracing paper and that's as far as I've gotten. I'm thinking I'll need to modify the collar at the very least. 

 - Work is work. Unfortunately it's a lot of tedious busy work right now, but it's paying the bills. 
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  - The news about Everything is getting to me. I won't inflict it all on you, but I will be destitute in ~5 years if everything happens that looks like it is going to happen.

 - The good news is that Jeff's treatment is going very well. Jeff had his--hopefully--last Chemo session on Thursday. But the hard part is that every session has been harder for him, making him almost bedridden. He  looks bad. He's looks bloated and has lost most of his facial hair. His radiation treatment goes through March, but it won't be every week day like it has been. It's lucky that when the cancer metastasized it didn't go into his organs. I'm guessing that if the lesions on his spine were indeed cancerous, and that cancer has been killed, his spine will still be compromised. We've talked about his road back to health, going to the gym and gaining strength, he'll need to be careful not to put too much stress on his spine and pelvic bones. But we are hopeful. Thinking that if we can make it to An Tir/West War that can be a Welcome Back-sort of celebration. But we need to see how his recovery progresses.

 - Work is work. Things look like they will get busier for a awhile. However, big contract I've been on for several years is ending in April. It might get renewed/extended, and it might not. Trying not to stress and hoping for the best. 

 - Bean is the most affectionate kitty I've ever had the privilege to live with.  She stays with me for much of my work day, until the sun come around the house and her sunbeam shows up on the bed. And she is Loving the new comforter; for a while I thought she'd never leave it. Right now she's curled up in a blanket here on the couch next to me looking super cute.

- We've gone through most of the cord of wood we bought this fall. All of the wood that our helpers stacked up in the garage is gone now and we're now onto the small pile that was outside. I think we'll get through the rest of winter with what we have; Jeff spends most of the time at home in bed and I'll just wear sweaters. ;-) 

 - We have matinee tickets to see Captain America Brave New World for tomorrow, but I'm not sure is Jeff will be up for it. I hope so because getting out of the house for a while will be good for our mental health. Need to balance protecting Jeff because he's immunocompromised and mental health. You know your excitement bar is at a new low when you dream of getting pancakes at IHOP when you see an ad for them. 

 - Speaking of entertainment, I want to share an a "channel" (for lack of a better term) that I'm enjoying. I suspect I'm the only one of you that would enjoy it, but I'm going to talk about it anyway. It's been around for a few years, goring out of things going online because of covid. Now the vibe is like an old local UHF channel run by a bunch of friends with little to no budget. 
It's called Dumb Industries. It started because a young stand up comic in New York met up with Frank Coniff (one of the Mads in MST3K) and they started working together. Frank Connif and Trace Bealue (sp?), the other Mad, had been touring with a show called the Mads are Back, riffing bad movies in front of live audiences. When Covid hit Frank and Trace couldn't tour, so Chris suggested doing an online show. Now these shows have been going on for 5 years (tickets are $10). 
Then Chris hooked up with another MSK alumni, Mary Joe Pehl, and they started doing 2 shows a month. These are kinda free, but you can join the Clubhouse and have access to all her Dumb Industries content, including movie watch-alongs and live chats.
If you know MST3K at all, you know Manos the Hands of Fate. The little girl in that movie is Jackie Nayman Jones and she became a professional artist. After MST3K brought Manos into public knowledge Jackie wrote book about the experience and started selling some Mano merch. Now, through Dumb Industries, she teaches art classes, both paint-alongs like a paint party only online. The subject matter is MSK3K-related. These were so popular that she now teaches a general subject class (basic still lifes). Students post their creations to show on the site and interact online.
Next person to join was Emmy Marsh. She loves obscure but good movies, so she has Weird and Wonderful Wednesdays, where she shows a movie and people interact in chat. Then she ends the show with cartoons (old and new) that fit with the theme of the movie. An once a month on a Tuesday, Emmy shows and riffs on a Dark Shadows episode.
Finally Chis and another guy, Matt, who became a Dumb Industries producer--do a show on Thursdays talking about what's going on in Dumb Industries and then have watchers chose a weird short to watch together (often old corporate training videos). They also have a show on Mondays where they play very old (8 bit?) video games. 
On Friday evenings they play old Mads shows on Twitch.
Dumb industries stays afloat by memberships for content (very minimal monthly), and selling merch. Content shows on their website/clubhouses and on Twitch. The Mads shows are available on Vimeo if you want to purchase a copy of the live show. For the first 4 years, the Mads shows were available for download with the cost of the show ticket, but financial realities mean that if you buy a ticket you have to still buy the download, but a a significant discount ($6). 
Anyway, I really enjoy the "group of friends putting on a show" vibe. If you are a big fan of MST3K the content may be appealing to you. If that's not your thing, then Dumb Industries is probably not going to be your cup of tea. But I find it encouraging that a bunch of people got together to do Silly Things, and people enjoyed it all enough to continue supporting it. 
Me, I catch all the Mads and Mary Jo Pehl shows, and Weird & Wonderful Wednesdays if the movie sounds interesting to me. Plus the Dark Shadows episodes, because why not?





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 I finished the pants I've been working on. I started with the Folkwear Basic Pants pattern, but by the time I was done my pattern didn't look much like the pattern. The pattern was So Off for my body, and the way they designed the pockets to have fold-down edges would not work for people like me who don't want to tuck their shirts into their pants. 

I wound up using some scrap medium weight linen. I had intended to use some nice heavy chambray, but after working on the pattern for a while I downgraded. Now they will be great to lounge around in in the summer (I wouldn't go out in public wearing them). 

Next up on my 2025 sewing list is a commercial pattern with a flowy angel-sleeve top and more tailored pants (zipper front). I have some peachy cotton lawn print (bunnies and unicorns!) that I got from Stonemountain & Daughter ~10 years ago for the top. (Actually, I have a lot of this fabric; did I buy all they had?). And I'll make the pants of the chambray. The top will come together quickly, but I'm predicting many muslins of the pants. :-/ .

A small rant: Way back when, I used to hear the phrase that denegrated someone's sewn clothes as having the "loving hands at home"-look. The opposite--the goal--was to sew such that your sewn clothes looked like they were professionally made (i.e., store bought). This phrase used to make sense to me, but now I wonder if it was rooted in the lack of respect given to any art/craft/hobby primarily pursued by women. There's more to say about this, but I've got to get to get going. 
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 SCA Post; I feel the need to blog about this to a limited audience just to get it out of my head. 

There is currently a petition to the BOD to change Corpora to allow Kingdoms to add Principality royal consorts to be added to the Order of the Rose. Heretofore, The Order of the Rose was reserved for those who had served as a royal consort for a Kingdom only. The petition is pretty clear that the change would be to *allow* Kingdoms to do this--Kingdoms would not have to-- and does not specify *how*. So a Kingdom could choose not to do it at all, or do it for principality consorts moving forward, or include all past principality consorts, whatever scenario a Kingdom decides on. 

Reading some responses to the FB post about this petition, it seems like some Kingdoms do this already. I know in An Tir, past principality consorts are considered "of valorous estate" and included in a lot of royal peer activities, but I don't think they are in the Order of the Rose. Someone online cited the person who created the Order in the first place as saying that there were no Principalities when it was created, but would have included them if they had been. Interesting inter-kingdom anthropology.

Here's my possibly unpopular opinion: If I were a betting person, I would bet a large amount of cash that if the BOD approves this change in Corpora the West Kingdom will not do this. One reason is that we in the WK have So Many members of the Order of the Rose already, and they (IMHO) have A Lot more social capital/respect than the Principality orders. I think the WK Roses would think there's too big a gap in rank to add Principality consorts, and if it did happen, I think there would be a significant amount of begrudging tolerance of these new members at best from a significant number of Order members. I think this is part of our very-old WK culture.

Another reason is sheer numbers. The WK has 3 Principalities that go Way Back, so there are many many Principality consorts--I'll be way more than any other kingdom. I can understand the attitude of "you can't have an elite Order if too many people are part of it." Parallel to this is the old "Great Grey Nameless Horde" of past Mists royalty, which people were joking about about 40 years ago (there were surcotes--time flies). 

I've had conversations with a few other viscountesses from the Mists, and, I have to say, the vibe in the WK made us unclear as to whether we were royal peers or not, or even if the title had any sort of rank associated with it at all. This gets back to what I was saying before - the social cache of being an ex principality consort if far less than an ex Kingdom consort, at least in the WK.

Of course, each WK principality has its own order for past consorts (the Mists just changed the name, and I'm not remembering the other names--bad me :-/ )To the best of my knowledge, those orders have never been organized to do anything, but they could. 

Anyway, I'll be watching how this plays out and we'll see if I bet correctly. But, of course, it doesn't really matter in the greater scheme of things, especially with everything else going on in the world. 


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 Today we spent money. The down comforter that we have was purchased in 1990, and it's pretty dead. Plus we were down to only about 4 bath towels that were still in good shape. I won't buy from LL Bean because they donated to the facists, but I remembered The Company Store which is where I bought that comforter oh so many years ago. 
Lo and behold The Company Store is having a big sale - 25% off plus 15% off at checkout with a code. Talked it over with Jeff and we decided to take the plunge. Spent a boatload of money, but saved hundreds of dollars. 

I'm torn between feeling guilty for spending money, and feeling good because we really needed to get this stuff and it was a good deal. 

Other than that, I'm indulging in all the baking stuff I can't do in the summer. Yay for rainy days!
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Sunday freeform check-in:

What a horrible week for the people of the USA. One outrage-inducing attack on human rights and boost to greed-driven oligarchy and hate after another. I donated to the ACLU, which is a start to fighting back. Feeling somewhat lucky to be in California.

Jeff had chemo on Thursday and it has knocked him on his ass. He pretty much as been sleeping in bed for the last 3 days, with occasional spurts of enough energy to walk to the couch and watch old Dr Who episodes before returning to bed and sleep.

I spent the weekend cleaning and shopping. I got a lot done, so yay?

We watched (in 2 parts, given Jeff's condition) the War of the Rohirrim. Huh. I didn't hate it, but I did have some issues with it. I'm not a fan of anime, so I did not like the character art or the way things were animated, which I'm guessing is classic anime style. I hated the weird "boy" outfit the had the Hera character in. The backgrounds were like beautiful paintings, but the character animation almost seemed to be superimposed on it to have no weight. I'm on the fence as to whether the Hera character was too "mary sue" or if it was good to have more female characters with agency in a Tolkien-based story. YMMV.

We really enjoyed Skeleton Crew. Admittedly, I'm a Star Wars fan and so was predisposed to like it. At first, I wasn't that interested because I'm not drawn towards stories where kids are the main protagonists. But Skeleton Crew was really really good. An Jude Law's character was *intense*. Didn't expect his character to go the way he did. But overall super heartfelt and fun. Neal Nation!

I'm still working on that Folkwear pants pattern. I should probably have dropped it and moved on to a different pants pattern, but I'm stubborn. I think with a couple more tweaks I can make some knock-around-the-house pants with some leftover linen I have in my stash.

I want to abandon FB because of it's association with the Zuk and the oligarchy, but it's tough. We are so isolated here in Frog Haven that I rely on FB Friends and the SCA/WK/Cynagua FB pages for social interaction. I've been posting more on Blue Sky and here. I keep poking at Discord because a lot of the communities I follow are using it more and more. But every time I look at it is confusing enough to make me leave. Discord has subjects, but as near as I can tell you can't find and follow a specific discussion or person without wading through a bunch of irrelevant posts.

Work right now is boring, but continues to pay the bills and staying employed is extremely important to me these days.

I'm enjoying a new-to-me podcast, Terrible Lizards, all about dinosaurs. Who doesn't like creatures (many gigantic!) 100+ million years ago? It's a pleasant distraction, to be sure.

No idea when we'll get to another SCA event. Like I've said elsewhere, however, I'm hoping that Jeff will be done with treatment by the end of March and he can start building up strength after that. I've been thinking about West/An Tir War as something of a victory celebration. Jeff's birthday falls around that time, so that's another factor.
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 Something happened last night that made me ponder on how I handled it now, at 65, instead of how I would have handled it when I was younger. More specifically, how instead of focusing on the logic of the situation I responded with empathy.

So ever since I met Jeff he's had a storage unit. This unit has been almost untouched for the since 2008, with one visit from Jeff and Cathyn a few years ago. I never saw it, but my understanding is that it was filled with craftsman furniture that Jeff dreamed of restoring, to fill a craftsman house that he dreamed of living in. Now, when he was with his ex-wife, they did have a craftsman home, but they fought a lot and eventually divorced and she got the house. All this went down before I met Jeff. In addition to this to-be-restored furniture, the unit apparently had books and some old SCA stuff. 

Over the years Jeff and I had talked about getting out from under that unit. I believe it costs over $300 per month, which Jeff has always paid out of his own pocket. There was not realistic way to get that furniture and those books, and nowhere to put it (particularly the furniture). Bottom line, we'd talked about the logic behind getting out of that unit and dealing with what was inside multiple times, but for all the predictable reasons no action was taken. Then came Jeff's cancer diagnosis and the need to economize to help pay those medical bills. Obviously (to you and me) that the Portland storage unit needed to go.

But understand Jeff's mental situation. That unit contained hopes and dreams for him that he had not let go. He was holding on to his dream, and keeping that unit was a way of holding on to that hope that someday, somehow, he'd achieve the house of his dreams. It also, mentally, held a significant part of Jeff's younger self. Now, logically, at this point in life, that house is never going to happen, and the chance of Jeff ever restoring all that furniture was slim to none. 

Jeff had gotten to the point where he understood that something had to be done about the unit. Not naming names, but he had a conversation with a dear friend that offered to help and told them of a few items that he absolutely wanted to keep. How it was going to get down south to him in practice was not covered, to the best of my knowledge. 

So, with Jeff's knowledge, some fantastic friends went to deal with the unit the same weekend as An Tir 12th Night. When they opened the unit up, as I understand it, the contents--including the furniture--were not salvageable realistically. So these friends--who I will be eternally grateful for -- cleared it out. Now, I was not there, and so I did not know if anything had been saved per Jeff's request (see above). All I know was that the unit was cleared out, another friend was going to do the final sweep, and that Jeff needed to call the storage unit company and give notice. However, I had been informed of this but Jeff hadn't said anything, so I had to assume that he had not.

Last night Jeff was feeling OK, so I told him that he needed to check with the friend he had talked to (see above) about the unit, but that my understanding was that it had been cleaned out and he could give the facility notice. Long story short, Jeff had a melt down. He did text the friend, but did not read the response. (I did, and saw that some things were kept so not 100% of things went away). 

Here's where we get to the subject line. I understood how he could be so traumatized. One thing he said was that a part of him died. But I knew that trying to bring comfort through laying out the logic and reality of the situation--something my younger self would have done-- was not the way to respond. I could see that the best approach was to treat this like the death of a close friend; the death of something very dear to him and his past life. I could see and understand that Jeff's response was one of deep grief.  So I just held on to him, said nothing, and listened.
Eventually Jeff said that he understood it had to be done, so I think he'll be able to heal from this hurt. But the grief is still deep and real and I understand that. 

To be clear, he's not mad at our friends; his hurt is rooted in grief and disappointment and maybe some acknowledgement of death. I'm super super grateful for all the time, effort and work  our friends put out to help us. 



callistotoni: (Default)
On the lighter side, I've really been enjoying sewing up the three Folkwear patterns I've been talking about on FB. Now I'm ready to go to tea, but the closest tea house appears to be down in Lincoln. I've enjoyed working with the fine cotton lawn--very smooth; just feels nice. 
I started working on one of their simple pants patterns today. I need to shorten the crotch depth and inseam. Pants are never straightforward :-/ .

Besides sewing, this weekend was pretty productive. Got some cleaning done, and I worked with Jeff to fill out the Advance Care Directives and a new wills. I reviewed the CA Durable Power of Attorney form I found, but I think it would be best if we filled out that one in the office of a notary. That's my next to do--find and make an appointment with a local notary. 

Since I'm a big fan of British detective shows, I'm watching Vera. Hm. The jury is still out. We did laugh a lot at a British murder mystery comedy movie, though, but I can't remember the name. 

Random thought: I've read that an old-person tell is the use of "..." at the end of informal sentences (i.e., used in social integrations). I have been very guilty of this. I think it conveys that a situation or opinion has some sort of an in-flux or continuing status. But now I'm trying to stop; no need to out myself about my age, especially at work. 

I have to work tomorrow (MLK day), and have a long working session planned. It will be a good distraction from an otherwise horrible day.

 
callistotoni: (Default)
Hello all, remember me? Since it seems prudent to move away from FB I thought I'd try back here. Strap in, my first post back is quite winey.

The unfortunate reality of Jeff's recovery process is that we need to stick close to home while he heals. But there are so many things going on right now and in the near future--very fun things--that I have serious FOMO. Facing cancer at home reinforces that every day is a gift and our days are limited, so to be losing out of having experiences with friends is hitting me very hard.

Jeff's condition is one part, and the other part is money. Partaking in super-fun activities takes money, and right now is probably not the right time to spend resources since we don't know how much all his treatment is going to cost. We are very, very thankful for all the donations and they will very much help. But total out of pocket costs are still unknown right now.

On the very-much-plus side, the treatments appear to be working.
callistotoni: (Default)
I have amazing friends. My friends are so amazing that co-workers have commented on how remarkable they are. My friends have picked me up - sometimes driving long distances - when tragedy struck so I wouldn't be alone. My friends have, without my asking, come by to fix house disasters, kept me company when I was sick or injured, offered financial support when times were grim, bought my coronet, taught me to drive,  and surprised me with a trip to Disneyland. Lots of other things I could spend all day naming.

All of these people who have gone the distance for me I met through the SCA. Admittedly, I have been in the SCA most of my life, so the odds are in favor of me meeting friends in the SCA, just because of time. But when I was inactive for about 10 years (~1989-Jan 1999) I had and made Zero friends. I knew people from work, and I saw my ex's family and sometimes mine, but that was it. The few people I saw very occasionally that would classify as friends were people I knew before I left the SCA. I felt very, very isolated and unconnected. 

Then one of those old friends* offered to "sponsor" my return to the SCA. They offered to transport me, feed me, and put a tent-roof over my head; all I had to do was dress myself and show up. So I took them up on the offer and returned to the SCA at 12th Night 1999. There I met the LBK and the old Crosston folks and re-connected with a bunch of old-timers. My second event was Crosston Ball, where I met Rachael/Marguerite and The Amazing Laina. And the rest is is history. ;-)

So why is it that I was able to form such strong connections with people in the SCA but unable to connect with people I met at work or with any of my ex's associates? I've thought a lot about this. My conclusion is this: The SCA attracts Romantics; people who believe that honor is a real thing, that "Dream the Impossible Dream" of The Man Of LaMancha. It attracts people who like me crave Elegance  and want to create Beauty. People who aren't just out for themselves, but who understand the value of working and supporting ideals. 

Of course, people are people. The SCA draws its share of jerks, as well as people who are very socially immature and unaware.** I'm certainly not saying that everyone in the SCA shares the qualities I listed above.

But I do assert that the SCA attracts these sorts of people and makes it easier for people like me to find like-minded individuals. Here's an example: Years ago at Monday Night Sewing, person A mentioned that someone had given them a pirated copy of a particular Broadway show (presumably, someone had recorded it surreptitiously during a performance). Person A went on to say that if anyone wanted to watch it with her they could come over and do so, but that she (person A) had *promised* not to make any copies. Then Person B, who was *not* in the SCA, started endlessly badgering Person A to break her promise and give her a copy. I confronted Person B, saying something like "Stop it. You are asking person A to dishonor herself by going back on her word". Person B did not get it - this concept of abiding by one's word was simply beyond her. I got angry. Eventually she shut up. Marguerite actually had to talk to Person B and explain that in our group Honor actually means something and that she (person B) was Out of Line. 

Certainly the SCA is not problem-free. There's been a spate of FB discussing some of these problems: costs/affordability,  how events have become boring because they are all the same, to hotel or not hotel next 12th Night, and I'm not sure what else ('cause I don't read everything). Some folks who I like very much have had the glow of a good time ruined. I wish I could make it all better. I worry about the future of our local SCA, because I do see problems that have evolved over time that discourage new and old members alike.

My only workable answer to these problems is to continue to do what I've been trying to do (when I can attend): Have and encourage get-togethers within SCA events that allow us to play the game we want to play. I know other people do the same, with cook's playdates, the people who work on the PPFs, the Golden Stag Players, the dancers and the Crosston ball, the folks who put together a Viking playspace. Credit to everyone who has taken charge and are making their dreams come true. And the SCA provides a space to make all these things happen. Yes, maybe they could be done individually, but I believe the SCA does make it a bit easier. 

So, yeah, consider this an imperfect love letter to the SCA. Hey, it allowed Jeff to make his childhood dream come true of becoming a knight, and in these times of greed and apathy that's something of a miracle. 

*Donna/Juana, who I'm eternally grateful to. 

**Toby Beck used to say that the main purpose of the SCA was to socialize geeks, or words to that effect. 
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The Perfectly Period Feast, held on Nov. 11 in Marin, CA, West Kingdom (SCA), was a wonderful culmination of several years of research, planning, and preparation. The attendees all looked beautiful; congratulations are due to all staff and participants!

However, those attendees that attended under the "Sideboard" option experienced significant problems. The following feedback is offered in hopes that future PPF organizers avoid these issues, should they decide to offer the Sideboard attendee option. This feedback is offered in a spirit of great respect and hope for future PPF-type events.

1) Most of the problems could have been avoided had there been a dedicated staff member overseeing the Sideboard "experience" - a Sideboard Liaison, if you will. This person would be in charge of making sure that the Sideboard attendees get all of the food/serving equipment/etc. they were promised and paid for. If there is a problem delivering any of those things, the Liason would explain this situation  (ingredients not available at the last minute, dished failed, whatever). Since those sitting in Messes and at the High Table have their own server(s) to act as their liasions (one at least per table), there should be at least this one point-of-content/Liasion for all of the Sideboard attendees (in this case, it would have been one person for 30 people, which I don't think is an unreasonable ask.)

2) Of the remaining issues, the majority could have been avoided it the planners take a hard look at the reality of the physical space and "tools" in/with which the Sideboard will operate. This point will become clearer in the examples given below. 

Problems Experienced by Sideboard Attendees:

A) Of the 22 food items Sideboard attendees were supposed to get - according to the event description and menu - only 9 of those items were served. 

B) Sideboard attendees were instructed to not bring anything except for glasses/drinking vessels. Napkins, trenchers, and spoons were to be available to Sideboard guests. 

In practice, only trenchers were provided. The trenchers were flat wooden disks, about 8 in across, in keeping with period practice. 

One of the main problems was that of the food that was provided, a lot of it was very wet or "gloppy" (for lack of a better word), but there were no spoons provided to guests to eat said wet food. Furthermore, flat trenchers are designed to work on a table, as a "staging area" for food rather than a modern plate. The flat trenchers were a bad fit for gloppy food one tries to eat without a table (standing or sitting) -- while wearing nice probably-non-washable clothing. 
Most of us Sideboard attendees are aware that people in period ate with their fingers. But, again, the food was wet and gloppy and spoons would have been what people would have used for this type of thing anyway. Plus we had none of the napkins to clean our hands of the gloppy food should we choose to do that. Please note that we never received any of the promised bread, which would have made eating this food more possible.

All of this meant that a lot of the food we were served was not eaten because it did not seem worth the trouble. Basically, we Sideboard attendees went hungry. 

According to conversations I had following the feast, there was food and there were spoons on site that were supposed to be made available to us but never were. If there had been a liaison to champion the needs of the Sideboard these items could have been found and provided.
Also, I and the fellow Sideboard attendees would have been perfectly happy to bring our own plates, spoons, and napkins, had we been told in advance. Since we Sideboard attendees were physically separated from the actual PPF our personal gear would not have conflicted with the ambiance the PPF staff was creating. 

C) The Sideboard option was based in period practice. Sideboard attendees were promised a view of the proceedings in the feast hall, even though they would not be directly participating. However, the only view available was through a doorway, which was blocked most of the time by serving staff. Looking at the physical layout of the space, the fact that servers would be occupying this space could have been predicted. 
There was also an outside area that had windows between it and the feast hall. Given the sun's reflection, viewing the proceedings was very difficult. 
Sideboard attendees could have been told that they would be able to participate in all of the before and after the feast, but that they would have little or no view of the proceedings. Knowing that the Sideboard would Really not have any sort of PPF experience would have, perhaps, influenced whether or not they would attend as a Sideboard. (The fact that the Sideboard was not part of the "perfectly period" experience was driven home by one of the dished being served in a disposable aluminum serving tray.)

As a Sideboard attendee, I *did* have a good time--the company was a Fun Crowd and we had plenty of red wine to keep us happy. But I really don't think I got my money's worth because of the lack of food. But I strongly believe our problems could have been avoided had there been a Liaison for the Sideboard who would have made sure we got everything we were promised (within reason, of course). And I know of at least 3 other people that feel the same way I do.

Again, water under the bridge. But if any of you plan a future PPF with a sideboard option, please learn from out experience. 








callistotoni: (Default)
 Am I a statistical anomaly? I now know 2 people that won reality show competitions: Rachael Z. for Chopped and Nick/Grendal on Forged in Fire. Thinking congratulatory thoughts for them both today.
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 Frustrating project continues to be frustrating. 

By Saturday morning I'd finally got all the paper pattern pieces to match up. I cut out the front pieces*, and before going to bed I'd finished sewing and top-stitching the front. 
However...
I'm not happy with how it looks. I don't dislike it enough to scrap the project; I still intend to wear this to the upcoming wedding. But the pieced-seams are bubbly. Not the seams themselves, but the fabric above and below.
I believe the problem comes from the fabric. This wool/cotton challis is kinda loosely woven, and with that weave I think it's not the best fabric for that degree of bias-cut piecing. I think that was this pattern really needs is a much denser weave. I think even a rayon challis would have been better. I think a super-lightweight wool twill would be a good fit, actually.

The other weirdness is that, for some reason, I thought that commercial pattern pieces were printed such that the expectation is that you are laying them out on the wrong side of the fabric. Turns out I was wrong -- they expect you to lay them out on the fashion/right side of the fabric. So my dress is opposite of what was intended. Now, in the greater scheme of things it doesn't really matter, but it's another thing that I'm finding frustrating about this dress. 

Next up: cutting out and putting together the back. 



*Thank you lifeofglamour for hosting my while I cut stuff out. 
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