For Misagillan Specifically
May. 18th, 2006 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
callistotoniHey Gillian! Leotulf posted something I tried to respond to, but he's restricted comments to his LJ friends only. Seeing as I took the time to write this (and therefore am not keen on wasting this post) I'm putting it here so that you can pass it on to him (your choice, of course.)
Basically, my thoughts on being mortal and in my 40s.
I can empathize...Welcome to my world. I'm 46. I don't think a day goes by when my brain does not stray to thoughts such as these.
I have to recall the line from the Wizard of Oz (movie) that goes something like "A heart is not measured by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." The cold truth is that our legacy and immortality lies in the memories we leave with others. For the vast majority of us, that group will be small--our friends and family, rather than the public at large. Coming to terms with that I think is part of living a sane middle age. You have a leg up on some of us--you have a daughter and are about to have a lovely wife who both love you. You, therefore, have two obvious candidates where your actions can effect and do great good. Two can be enough; take comfort in that.
The other thought I'll share is that surviving every day can be a triumph. I remember this especially when I think on people like maestrateresa, who was delt one of the worst hands when it comes to her health. But she makes the most of it, has a wonderful family and overall is "winning". :-)
I myself find I'm drawn to fiction where people carry on despite overwhelming odds (I've come to refer to this as the Suck Up And Deal, or SUAD, genre). I love the movie Zulu, and I can't tell you haw many times I think of the line by the Sargent Major who answers the private's "why, why us?" question with "Because we're here, lad. Just us". (I also think to myself that some days all you can do is stand there and sing ;-) ). I love Firefly/Serenity because it's about a guy who loses everything--including faith--and who is able to find himself again. And I like the Kipling lines barone_antonio posted a few days ago:
"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone.
And hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"
(From Rudyard Kipling's poem "If")
Honestly, I think this is what being in one's 40's is all about. It's about really coming to terms with the fact that "It's not all about me" and carrying on and continuing to grow personally despite age and loss.
oh, this is Toni / Genevieve BTW... Can I LJ-freind you?
Basically, my thoughts on being mortal and in my 40s.
I can empathize...Welcome to my world. I'm 46. I don't think a day goes by when my brain does not stray to thoughts such as these.
I have to recall the line from the Wizard of Oz (movie) that goes something like "A heart is not measured by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." The cold truth is that our legacy and immortality lies in the memories we leave with others. For the vast majority of us, that group will be small--our friends and family, rather than the public at large. Coming to terms with that I think is part of living a sane middle age. You have a leg up on some of us--you have a daughter and are about to have a lovely wife who both love you. You, therefore, have two obvious candidates where your actions can effect and do great good. Two can be enough; take comfort in that.
The other thought I'll share is that surviving every day can be a triumph. I remember this especially when I think on people like maestrateresa, who was delt one of the worst hands when it comes to her health. But she makes the most of it, has a wonderful family and overall is "winning". :-)
I myself find I'm drawn to fiction where people carry on despite overwhelming odds (I've come to refer to this as the Suck Up And Deal, or SUAD, genre). I love the movie Zulu, and I can't tell you haw many times I think of the line by the Sargent Major who answers the private's "why, why us?" question with "Because we're here, lad. Just us". (I also think to myself that some days all you can do is stand there and sing ;-) ). I love Firefly/Serenity because it's about a guy who loses everything--including faith--and who is able to find himself again. And I like the Kipling lines barone_antonio posted a few days ago:
"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone.
And hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"
(From Rudyard Kipling's poem "If")
Honestly, I think this is what being in one's 40's is all about. It's about really coming to terms with the fact that "It's not all about me" and carrying on and continuing to grow personally despite age and loss.
oh, this is Toni / Genevieve BTW... Can I LJ-freind you?
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-18 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-19 12:23 am (UTC)I really agree--it's one of the thiongs that resonated with me so deeply about Babylon 5--it is, overall, a story of fall and redemption; grace under pressure.
What you *have* is far less imprtant than what you do when the chips are down, and how you affect the people around you. The choices that we make are the true measure of character IMHO.
Thank you for the thoughts
Date: 2006-05-22 05:51 pm (UTC)Feel free to add me as a friend.